Tomorrow I will see my consultant. He will look at my x-rays and decide whether I need another operation. I don't have a timed appointment. My patient transport will arrive sometime between 12 and 2.30. I'm not sure how I am supposed to have my lunch or take my pills. I'm thinking I may prepare a packed lunch and then eat it at home. Should I sit with my coat on? How will I get my bag downstairs if I have to take my lunch and a drink? When I'm at the clinic I will have no way of getting a hot drink. I have no idea when I will get home. No one tells you these things.
And my generous Spanish friend, who has looked after me for the last ten days, leaves on Wednesday. I will be alone again.
Despite all of this, I'm strangely calm. I have started reading again. I managed to put together an Excel spreadsheet of my various (33 to date) outpatient appointments for a potential compensation claim. I'm taking the wise advice of my psychologist "you trusted the consultant the last time, so this time he is deserving of trust too.." I have a roster of people lined up to visit and eat with me. Tomorrow night we are even having a dinner party with the neighbours and a chum from Dumfries.
I have joined a book group - and ordered the book from Amazon. I might even read it in advance. I do my physio and I think I see a difference in my knee and ankle movements. I can hop further - I am stronger. And I am wondering about work. My life must be about more than work - and now I have the opportunity to make that happen - how strange that it takes a 32 tonne truck to change my perspective (not to mention a global recession...)
Tomorrow it is not only my day of judgment. Fred gets a turn too. Will Sir Fred Goodwin say sorry at Select Committee tomorrow? £20 billion of public money to save a bank. What will Sir Fred say? It was is the system? He was is just one of many? Banking was is about risk? Risk needs rewarded? Whatever Fred says, we are all bankers now - and for better or worse there are an awful lot more of us who understand the intricacies of the UK finance system - this has to be a good thing!
And my generous Spanish friend, who has looked after me for the last ten days, leaves on Wednesday. I will be alone again.
Despite all of this, I'm strangely calm. I have started reading again. I managed to put together an Excel spreadsheet of my various (33 to date) outpatient appointments for a potential compensation claim. I'm taking the wise advice of my psychologist "you trusted the consultant the last time, so this time he is deserving of trust too.." I have a roster of people lined up to visit and eat with me. Tomorrow night we are even having a dinner party with the neighbours and a chum from Dumfries.
I have joined a book group - and ordered the book from Amazon. I might even read it in advance. I do my physio and I think I see a difference in my knee and ankle movements. I can hop further - I am stronger. And I am wondering about work. My life must be about more than work - and now I have the opportunity to make that happen - how strange that it takes a 32 tonne truck to change my perspective (not to mention a global recession...)
Tomorrow it is not only my day of judgment. Fred gets a turn too. Will Sir Fred Goodwin say sorry at Select Committee tomorrow? £20 billion of public money to save a bank. What will Sir Fred say? It was is the system? He was is just one of many? Banking was is about risk? Risk needs rewarded? Whatever Fred says, we are all bankers now - and for better or worse there are an awful lot more of us who understand the intricacies of the UK finance system - this has to be a good thing!
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