Sunday 3 May 2009

Open for business

Given that I can now take a few, albeit ungainly, crutch free steps, it is time to open the couch for business (www.couchsurfing.com). I duly change my 'couch status' to available, sit back and wait for the avalanche of requests. I do not wait long.

The first few come from the under 20s. The young uns tend not to bother reading my profile, send the same request to 30 people, and are generally on the scrounge for a free bed. I ignore them. This reduces my 'response status'. Do I care?

Then a couple that are more interesting. An Italian post doc researcher based in the UK and a French train driver. Unfortunately they both want the same dates. I ping back a 'yes' to the Italian woman and a 'no' to the Frenchman - on the basis that the Italian contacted me first.

By a strange twist of fate too complex to explain, they both end up staying at the same time. Picture the scene. A Scot on crutches with a smattering of French. A smart and stylish Italian woman with no French but awesome enthusiasm. A (on first appearances) quiet and calm French man with a smattering of English and no Italian. Two bamboozled cats who understand neither French nor Italian but are very up for the chicken salad (never before encountered).

A bit like hosting two cats, two surfers are better than one when the host is immobile. They entertain each other during the day in the city, and then, unlike cats, prepare delicious meals, make the coffee, buy the croissants, and do the washing up. I am immensely cheered and motivated by all this positive activity. I manage up the stairs with 'normal' steps. I lose my second crutch constantly (this has to be a good sign), and on occasion wander off without any crutches at all.

Meal times are a whirl of English, French and Spanish (quite why the latter is used, no one quite knows - but it sounds good at least). We are served up sumptuous crepes and home made chocolate oranges. We play and argue wildly over some bizarre card game (Sets?) that will no doubt be introduced to the national curriculum given its level of difficulty and complexity. We ponder the ablution habits of French train drivers (is there a toilet in the cabin??).

The French man leaves for his free train travel up north (oh, to be a European train driver), and the Italian returns to work a day later. I pick up my knitting again, go to the gym, make my first venture out to the back garden with Betty, and actively consider cycling again on Seafield Road.

Couch surfing is not always this good (witness a previous encounter with a rather different Frenchman), but this time it was tremendous. As I previously noted, NHS (England and Wales) is running a competition for innovative ideas to save money and improve health care. Perhaps couch surfing should be included. Patient returns home early (thus saving money), and their home is then invaded by polite, enthusiastic, 'foreign' surfers who provide food, cleaning and pure unadulterated entertainment. Patient recovers more quickly, less services are required and we even get a bonus cultural exchange - which makes us all happy well rounded multi lingual people. Unfortunately the competition is only open to NHS staff - but if there is anyone out there reading this - feel free to submit it. I will not, however, be responsible for any rogue surfer who spoils it all and ends up as campaign target by the Sun.



No comments: