Saturday 23 May 2009

A short walk in the Hindu Kush

The day my tiny sunflowers burst through the soil is my second half day in the office. I am supposed to be phasing in over six weeks. But I've no idea how to manage this. By chance, and through no one's fault, there are three 'lines of command' out of the office on my return. Two above me and one immediately below. And with my own absence this means there is a lot of catching up to do. Fast.

My quandary is personal. No one is insisting that I get everything done. But how to hobble out of the office without doing so? Should I stay longer and get involved? Or leave people to it? If I wasn't there they would be doing it on their own anyway. My diary is filling up faster than I can block out days off. But after four hours in the office I hit the wall. I can't even summon the energy for a swim. It took me 12 hours to recover from the second day. This is enormously frustrating - and surprising.

I have a colleague who works with 'dispassionate' enthusiasm. He does a brilliant job. But he doesn't take his work home in his head. He leaves on time unless there is a genuine crisis. This is something I must also master. But no one can tell me how to do this. In my recuperation period I have an enormous opportunity to learn - there'll never be a never chance. But already my friends are telling me they see and hear the 'old me' on the work front, a tendency to long hours and (over?) passionate enthusiasm.

And my half pay has kicked in. Every day out of the office is a loss of money. And because HR did not know exactly when I was coming back, this month's pay is already 'docked' more than it should have been had my hours been known. So the incentive is to work more hours than advised by OH to avoid the loss of salary. Even although I can afford the temporary loss and its too late this month anyway. God, the mind plays fearful tricks over money.

Meanwhile back at physio, there are yet more issues. This time 'mechanical'. So now I have a taped foot and a taped knee. And an end objective. Apparently it is normal for the physiotherapy to continue until the patient is back at their pre injury sporting standard. For me this is the ability to cycle up extremely high mountains. Eight hours on a bike at 4000m elevation. I guess I'll be going to physio a bit longer than I expected. Time for a short walk in the Hindu Kush - complements of the NHS.

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